Wrapping up Jam the Gym 4

     And so, after so much build up, hype, and anticipation, Jam the Gym 4 is history.  So many great moments, but we'll get back to that later.  First I have so many to thank!
     Jam the Gym is not possible without terrific participation from our local communities.  From the students who have always provided energy, to the administration, teachers, and fellow coaches, who are always looking for a way to help.  The local businesses who donated goods and services for our chinese auctions, and the many fans who came to the gym on a hot September night to support our cause.  There isn't even a way for me to thank everyone, but I must highlight some noteables...
          Trib Total Media- a company who for me has earned a "Major Contributor" tag, providing Penguin tickets and a Autographed Sidney Crosby Jersey, along with ads on their webpage that generated a lot of traffic here.  Incredible support!  Thank you Jennifer Bertetto, along with Rick Monti and Bill Beckner who have covered this story on many difficult days with great care!
     PNC Bank, who have been generous to us for our first four years, with great donations of event tickets and memorabilia.
          Jory Rand and Brandon Hudson, for coming all the way out here to spend the evening with us, talk with the students and fans, and lend their support for us.  These are the true gentlemen of local media.  
          My employer, Tees-n-Tops, for year after year providing our event tee-shirts for a MORE that fair price on an unfairly tight time-line, which allows us to sell them to MANY students, and generates much of our income.  Mark and Danny Albert and their staff are the best!
          Cy "Malkamania" Clark, the biggest Penguin fan I know, and the most generous as well!  Cy claimed he had "extra" autographed jerseys, and took the time to drive them out to me on a day I know he wasn't feeling his best.  Whoever won the Neal and Kunitz jerseys have Cy to thank!  Cy is also in his own cancer fight.  Keep him in your prayers as well.
          Two local families donated vacation homes for a week.  Thank you to the Duppstadt family for the Top Sail vacation home, and Ray Berquist and Linda Toy for the week in Bradenton, FL.  Your contributions drive our event!
          While it's so good to have attractive prizes to give away, it's essential to have fans who come out and support, by tickets, and cheer at Jam the Gym!  Over 500 of you made it this year!  That's why we continue to do this.  Your support means the world to us!  

     This year we featured both high school and collegian volleyball.  Connellsville made the long drive down from Fayette County to play against us this year.  They are a polished squad who is going to surprise someone in their very tough section.  Watching the JV game, you can see they will be strong for years to come.  Great job, Falcons.  Best of luck as your season continues!
    Point Park and Carlow played a spirited conference match that was won 3-1 by Carlow.  I commented earlier today that it is among the greatest things to witness as a coach or a fan, when a team or player sees the "lights come on" and takes a quantum leap in belief.  Carlow's players got that out of Jam the Gym.  Wonderful job Celtics!
     Point Park, Coached by longtime friend of this event Mike Bruno, showed honor and grace in defeat, and as hard as it is to lose, these ladies will take the lesson, and improve in the practice gym.
Best of luck as you continue your season!  FEAR THE BISON!!!
     Kiski Area.  This team NEVER ceases to amaze me.  They didn't have their best match at Jam the Gym, but it hardly mattered.  Our girls have seen the big picture, and understand that a setback isn't the end of anything.  Like Connellsville we are going to surprise someone in our section.  I've never seen a group of kids who have been beaten, battered, and knocked down so much, and REFUSE to stay down.  Champions Rise!  We will persist until we succeed!!!
     When I first met Jaime Moran, I was struck by that beautiful smile.  Jaime had a way of waltzing into a room and stealing it with her presence.  Her personality glowed as brightly as her smile.  It was always a goal of mine to make her smile, and for all she had been through, it really wasn't that hard.  Jaime Moran LOVED life, and it always showed, no matter what.

    THE MOMENT.
          Jam the Gym was an idea spawned by our original Relay for Life team, The Fluorescent Angels.  Our motto is, Fluorescent Angels, we always SHOW UP.  In our first year Jaime and Ellen's Fluorescent Angels where 650 strong on the track at Apollo-Ridge.  We raised $14,000 for the American Cancer Society, and proclaimed ourselves the "largest team in Relay for Life history".
Seeing the power in Jaime and Ellen's courageous story, lead to an idea.  Why not do a volleyball event?  Jam the Gym was born!
     Jam the Gym has been proud to provide financial support to teachers and students in the district through the Fluorescent Angels Fund.  It is related, but separate from the Jaime Vick Moran Scholarship.  This year, it only seemed right to do something special.  
     Shortly after Christmas, the Kiski Area Volleyball family was devastated by the death of junior libero Jenna Prusia is a sledding accident.  She is survived by her father Duane, mother Vicki, brother Jarrett and twin sister Ashton.  They have continued to be a strong symbol of faith in our community, allowing US to lean on THEM.
Knowing that only Jodie could truly understand Ashton's feeling of losing a twin sister, it was decided that Ashton would be the recipient of the first ever Fluorescent Angels Scholarship, in memory of both Jaime and Jenna.
    I will never forget Jodie's heartfelt speech, and the feeling that we had found the moment we had worked so hard for.  Jam the Gym had found it's purpose for this year. Here on earth twin sisters smiled through tears, and in heaven their sisters smiled too. 
      We hope to continue this work, at Jam the Gym 5!  Thank you all so much!!!

The Rectangle

A four sided geometrical shape.

  According to Wikipedia, "A rectangle is any quadrilateral with four right angles."   

In our case it's 30' X 60', bisected in the middle.  Two squares, as it were.

A rectangle or a refuge.
Is there something magical about rectangles?
Not all of them...

The rectangle has been a place we have gone in difficult times.  
Times have been difficult, but inside the rectangle we have found...

...solace
...togetherness
...support
...each other.

Our rectangle must have invisible sturdy walls.
The pain, worry, and sorrow we have felt rarely gets in.
The respect, admiration, and love, never get out.

 So what is this magical place, what does one need to gain admission?
Pull up your knee pads.  Lace up your shoes.
The rectangle recognizes only one division.
The net that bisects it.
In truth it is a false barrier, because even though it divides a dozen people in half,
It cannot contain the respect one six has for the other.

 All over the world, twelve people "square off" on these rectangles.
Games are played, practices held, dreams are made, winners crowned.
But the real purpose, I think, is that we find one and other.
There is no concept, strategy, or philosophy greater or more important than this.

 So what stops us from taking what we have learned inside the rectangle and out into the world.
Nothing.



At Kiski, we have found that the magic has nothing to do with the rectangle itself, but rather in the people we choose to share it with.  Our sense of peace, through what has been a difficult time, has more to do with being together.  All athletics share the commonality of "TEAM" or better yet "FAMILY".
But our's were surely built...

 inside the RECTANGLE.

The Other Side of The Canyon


After the dust settled from a very busy weekend of big matches and world travel I ask National Team member Cassidy Lichtman to "guest blog" for me, and view.  This is how it went from the Serbian side of "The Canyon"


When Alisha first told us about the amazing story she had stumbled upon via Twitter, the whole team was moved.  And when we get behind something we treat it with the same focus and passion that we bring to the court with us.  After discussing the situation over lunch and what we could do, we settled on inviting Coach Toy to be an honorary coach for what was sure to be a battle against a strong Serbian team.  After hammering out the logistics between matches and a few late night blog posts, we were all set to have Coach Toy on the virtual bench.
There was a slightly different feeling in the air before our match on Sunday.  As we wrote T4T on our arms I think it gave us a moment to reflect.  Not to drag attention away from the game ahead but rather to bring that attention to how special the opportunity was.  To remember to be grateful that we got to step on the court that day and do what we love because that opportunity is not always promised to us.  And to remember that the community involved in our sport is vast and diverse and infinitely inspiring.
Coach Toy tweeted in words of advice throughout the match.  Hopefully all of you have read them because there were some keen insights in there and helpful tips for volleyball players of all ages and experience levels.  I think my favorite was the one including #TheyAreRattled.  Because they were at the time.  And we weren't.  Because why would we be?  We came ready to battle and we had one of the leading experts on the subject at our side.
So, on behalf of the US National Team, I'd like to say thank you to Coach Toy for joining our staff for the day.  It genuinely meant a great deal to all of us.  





If you would like to follow the members of Team USA on Twitter, here are some of their Twitter names...

@aglass6
@CassidyLichtman
@ChristaHarmotto
@Lauren5Gibby
@TamaMiyashiro
@KellyMurph12

You will find their posts to be funny, inspiring, and insightful not only about volleyball, but also their experiences traveling the world, representing their country.  

Video

The Canyon


Heeelllllllloooooo.

Heelllooo.  Hello.  hello.

Imagine the world of social media as a vast canyon.  

Heeeeeeellllllllloooooo!

Heeeelllloooo.   Heellllooo.  Hello.

Imagine that the canyon getting bigger everyday.
Twitter has over half a billion users and increases by 130,000 users EVERYDAY!
Facebook has a whopping 1.15 billion users.
This is one big canyon.
HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOO!!!

But in the vastness of the canyon, sometimes the right connection is made at just the right time!

I'll start this story of by saying before last Friday, neither Ellen or I had much of a connection to either Alisha Glass or the US National Volleyball team.  The closest we come was exchanging smiles at the Pennsylvania Volleyball Coaches Association's yearly clinic held at Penn State.  Five feet.  Three years ago?  We had watched Alisha win National titles on TV, even made the drive up to State College for big matches.  For a University of Pittsburgh alum, Ellen really enjoys the campus! 
As for the National Team, we were honored to have Christa Harmotto at last years Jam the Gym.
She signed every autograph and sat on our bench during our match, passing out great tips to the players as they subbed in and out of the game.  What a tremendous ambassador for volleyball.
Oh and Ellen once played against the National Team!  Pitt played a match against them at Farrell High School, maybe 1981?  Debbie Green, Flo Hyman, and Rita Crockett.  Rita was hitting balls off the floor and into the rafters!  Suffice it to say it was a short night for Team USA.  I think Pitt managed maybe six points all evening!
But that is as much connection as there ever was...

In the days going into Ellen's current treatment, there has been a sense of dread.  As good as she is doing with this, it does wear on her both physically and mentally.  It is thought that as this regimen goes forward, the effects will accumulate, and become more difficult with each treatment.  The time between the fourth and fifth was hard.  The sensitivity to cold in her hands and mouth lingered a little longer.  The dryness in her mouth and hands got worse, so much so that her lips cracked and bled.  Five or six days of this, she starts to heal up, only to have the dread of the next one coming.  
By Monday last week, I could tell this was more than just dread.  The process had her worn down.  The prospect of High School volleyball starting and her not being able to fully participate was bothering her. Tuesday it got worse.  Wednesday is treatment day.  She gets to the Hillman Center at about 9am gets back home at 4pm.  They send home a 36 hour dose of 5FU that runs on a pump she stays connected to until Friday afternoon.  She sleeps 12, maybe 13 hours in the days after treatment.  Then the side effects kick in again.
Friday morning I woke up for work.  I have a habit of checking this blog, seeing who is viewing, where they are and what they've read.  I also check my twitter accounts.  Our Jam the Gym event is fast approaching, and as Twitter users know, Friday is #FF day.  A day where users try to increase "followers".  I have a few friends that faithfully tag me in their #FF's.  With Jam the Gym being before the start of school, it is important to use this medium to carry information out to those who might potentially attend.  An idea was hatched.  A #FF contest!  Challenge followers to get @JamtheGym 50 new followers by midnight.  Using the popular event tee shirt as a carrot!  The new follower with the most followers wins!  Brilliant!
I sent out the challenge at around 8:30 am.  By 2pm we neared the goal, but things stagnated, so I added another tee shirt to the furthest new follower and the 200th follower.  For a while, the furthest follower was Pro Poker Star @berkey11.  Matt Berkey(he loves volleyball) lives in Las Vegas, and is a former student of Ellen's.  Then a young lad from the UK took the spot, @N_Neasch.  It looked like that might be where it ended.  But it didn't...
At around 4pm I had an idea that it would be cool to get the "most famous" follower as well.  Let these kids (most of the Jam the Gym followers are former or current players or students at Kiski and Leechburg) try and entice famous people to join us.  Our most famous follow, before Friday was one of the "Dance Mom" people.  It's not that we hadn't tried.  The kids attempts to get #EllenonEllen had been epic.  Probably THOUSANDS of tweets with that hashtag to @TheEllenShow with no reponse...

HHHHEEEELLLLLOOOOO...  



What was it that lead me to reach out to @AGlass6?  Not sure.  Maybe it was that smile three plus years before, I don't know but here is the tweet that started the whole thing...



@AGlass6 became our most "famous" follower, and has a tee shirt coming.  But she didn't stop there.  While I had her attention, knowing that Ellen's spirits were down I ask her for one little favor that she took to the max...


That wasn't the end either!  After reading our story, and sharing it with her National Team team mates, it was decided that Coach Ellen Toy would become the honorary coach during the team's BIG match with Serbia!    After a flurry of activity to set everything up, Ellen and I spent the afternoon Sunday enjoying a terrific volleyball match, with her live tweeting comments as "Coach".  It was by far the best Sunday after a treatment we have had so far!  So much so that Sunday night we went for a walk, and she ask to do it.  Another Sunday first!  
So what started out as a #FF ended up with a LOT of people more familiar with our story, a story so vast, so compelling that it moved The United States National Volleyball team to action.
God Bless every one of you, you made the space between treatments so much better.  All because of.
One Smile
One Tweet
One incredible memory.

Thanks and best of luck in Japan!!!
GO USA!

Are you ready to Jam the Gym again?

Details are coming together for our fourth "Jam the Gym"! Here is what we know.
Date: Weds., Sept. 4th, 2013
Time: Varsity match starts at 6
Two Matches: High School-Kiski Area vs. Connellsville
 College-Point Park vs. Carlow
As in years past, many games, prizes, and give-aways! We purposefully scheduled our event on a Wednesday night to get the maximum amount of participation from our supportive base of local high school volleyball programs. If you haven't been to Jam the Gym in our previous 3 years come join us! Help us celebrate the opening of another exciting season of volleyball, Western Pennsylvania style! The ever popular Jam the Gym t-shirt will be on sale that night! Here is how it will look this year!
 The GooGoo Dolls "Rebel Beat" is a song that we have identified as meaningful to our program.  It will be "celebrated" for the first time after the varsity match at Jam the Gym!

The Power of Good knows no bounds!

I got an e-mail today, and I really wanted to share it with you here on the blog.  It was from Jaime's Aunt Dayna, who is Head Women's Basketball Coach at Cornell University.  It is testament to how powerful the good in our world is, so powerful that it continues after we're gone.  


Wanted to share a little news with you.  Our Men’s assistant soccer coach just stopped by to chat.  When Jaime relapsed the second time we had a Be the Match Drive in connection with a hockey event.  Josh organized it…Debbie and Cindy worked it.  We had a great response.  We had put out a flier about Jaime and a lot of people were tested.  Joe (the soccer coach) was so touched about what he read regarding Jaime that he came to the drive. 

Joe was identified as a match  2 weeks ago to a 13 year old boy.  Somewhere in Europe…nurse said he loves soccer too.  Joe went Wednesday for the marrow extract and the marrow was sent overnight overseas.  The little boy had his transplant on Thursday.  Joe stopped by to tell me if it wasn’t for Jaime he wouldn’t even know about marrow transplants, would have never be swabbed and would never had been able to help this boy.  He said he thought of Jaime the whole time.

Just wanted to share this with all of you.  Jaime still touches so many.  Her fight and spirit will inspire other for years to come…and hopefully it will save some lives.  Jaime made me smile today.  Thought you all would like in on it.

God Bless Coach Joe, The little soccer player, and Jaime Vick Moran!!!

#EllenonEllen

The students at the Kiski Area Intermediate School produced a terrific video about our story, and the #EllenonEllen movement.  It is an honor to share it here on our blog!  Please watch it, rate it and share it with as many people as you can.  When Ellen is well she will be ready to tell the world our inspiring story!


Keep Coach Ellen Toy in your prayers, as she recovers from her latest surgery.
Thanks,
Tim

An Admirable Angel

Ellen Toy is more than a coach to me; she is someone who I admire. I remember when I first met her in 7th grade volleyball, I was scared of her. I did everything that I could to not mess up in front of her. Once I got a chance to talk to her during practice, I found out that I had no reason to be scared.
 She was such a nice person and she truly loved coaching volleyball. During 7th and 8th grade, my team practiced with her often. I got to know her better throughout my season, and she inspired me to try out for the high school JV team. Believe it or not, I made the high school JV team as a freshman. Ellen was the coach for varsity, so I was not one of her players yet. At the PITT Summer Volleyball Camp my sophomore year, I was practicing with JV and I heard Ellen say, “Rach, come over here and play.” When she said those six words, I immediately ran over to her with a smile on my face. I was finally on varsity with Ellen as my coach.
            Ellen was diagnosed in October 2010 with Signet Ring Cancer, also known as Gastric Cancer. Signet Ring Cancer does not manifest itself in large tumors; it destroys tissue at the cellular level. She fought her hardest to try and beat the cancer, and that made her admirable to me. Ellen is honestly the strongest woman I have ever met. Soon after she defeated her cancer, Jaime Moran, my other coach, was diagnosed for the third time with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. The whole time Jaime was battling her cancer, Ellen was not only there for Jaime, but for the whole volleyball team. When Ellen told us that Jaime’s days were numbered, everyone was crying and upset. Ellen was there hugging each and every one of us and telling us that it was going to be okay. When my bestfriend Jenna Prusia died in December, Ellen was once again the rock for the whole team. She opened her front door for anyone who simply wanted to talk, cry or needed a place to go. On February 25, 2013, Ellen told us that her cancer had returned. She is going to have to go through the battle again, but she is ready to fight. She is unbreakable. I admire her honesty, braveness, courage, strength, beauty, and her love for everyone in her life. I feel blessed to have Ellen Toy in my life and as my volleyball coach.

By: Rachel Frye
Written: March 19th, 2013

Coaches Manual. The rest of the Story...

After I finished "There's Nothing in The Coaches Manual", I was really prepared to move forward, maybe do a few more "Guest Blogger" spots and write something positive about what we've been through.  It was time.  Our team has been surrounded by sadness for far to long.  Ellen and I talked about how we needed to find positive forces and images to help all of us back onto the court.
One of the ideas we came up with was a "celebration song" kind of like "Sweet Caroline" after the third quarter at Pitt games.  We felt like, win or lose, this coming season we needed to recognize the one important lesson we came away with was everyday is a gift that deserves celebration!  
The next thing to do was...


Find a song.
I had a few in mind.  Much of the new music I have been listening to has a kind of pepped up, folksy, Irish rock sort of feel.  The kind of song you might learn the chorus too.  The song that makes you at least tap your foot, and at most stomp your feet.  Lots of songs fit this, many were considered, then ONE stood out.

The Goo Goo Dolls new song, "Rebel Beat"
The song has that catchy beat, but what really struck us we're the lyrics.
Like the Goo Goo's knew what we needed to hear.
We keep heading in the same direction
You become my own reflection
Is that your soul that you’re trying to protect
I always hoped that we would intersect, yeah

Give me time to cope and time to heal
Time to cry if it’s what you feel
Oh, life can hope, when it gets too real
I can hold you up when it’s hard to feel

Alive, alive
Alive is all I wanna feel
Tonight, tonight
I need to be where you are
I need to be where you are

Hey you, look around
Can you hear that noise, it’s a rebel sound
We got nowhere else to go

And when the sun goes down and we fill the streets
You’re gonna dance till the morning to the rebels beat
You can take everything from me
‘Cause this is all I need

You know that life is like a ticking clock
Nobody knows when it’s gonna stop, yeah
Before I’m gone I need to touch someone
With a word, with a kiss, with a decent song yeah
And it gets lonely when you live out loud
When the truth that you seek isn’t in this crowd
You better find your voice, better make it loud
We’re gonna burn that fire, or we’ll just burn out

http://www.googoodolls.com/rebelbeat/


We had our song, it had a happy beat, and words that resounded the story we found ourselves in.  This would be how we would close our home matches, win or lose.
Celebration!  We would dance our way back...

 On Friday, February 15th Ellen had a routine endoscopy scheduled.  The kind of test we have become used to, to the point where we kidded each other about the "quality nap" that it provided.  After the test, Ellen's gastric doctor delivered the same report as usual.  Nothing worrisome on the camera, just took a few samples to biopsy.  We left the hospital feeling good. After three years of these tests, they have become easier to do, and the worry that had been present after the first few was finally gone. 

I have on many occasions described cancer as a murderer you never feared because he wasn't after you.  Once he enters your life, he won't stop stalking you.  You fear him.  He waits, in the darkness, maybe around the next corner.  We let our guard down.  He sneaked back in...

 On February 23rd, two days before Ellen's 52nd Birthday, we got a troubling voicemail at home.
Hello Ellen,
This is the doctors office calling.
The doctor needs to speak to you. 
His cell number is...

 The murderer is back.
In a lot of ways this is harder this time.  Maybe it's because we now know how hard it was the first time.  Maybe it's the enormousness of what we had been through in the last seven months.  My wife is this incredible human.  She is readying to go at this hard again.  On most days she is the one holding me up.  I am weary of the events of the past four years.  I hurt for her.  I want her well and whole.  I can't understand how so much has gone so wrong.  I worry for our kids.  I worry for our players.  I worry for me.

On the day of her latest procedure, a laproscopic look at her abdominal region to see if the cancer had spread there, Ellen had me laughing.  That's what she does.  She isn't the classic "bad ass", but she is more of one than I'll ever be.  My wife, Ellen Jane Toy, is in fact, a card carrying 'Bad Ass".

The test of her abdomen came back with no cancer activity, and so it is thought that the disease is confined to her stomach.  There will be surgery, likely soon, to remove most or all of what remains of it.
We are ready to except the challenges to come.  We know that with the prayers and support of our families, teams, and community God will see us through this too.

I really, really wanted to write about something positive, so I'll close with this.

Ellen's players, students, and friends have started an unlikely drive to have our story told.  They have chosen to take to Twitter, using the hashtag #EllenonEllen and the account @EllenonEllen to get the attention of The Ellen Show.  The effect has been incredible!  This blog saw a spike(volleyball jargon) is viewership of 600%!  I don't know if we have got Ellen DeGeneres's attention, but our story has been seen by nearly 3,000 people, literally around the world, in the past two days!  If you do twitter, support this effort.

Also, check out the Ellen on Ellen Blog at

http://www.ellenonellenkavb.blogspot.com/
Gracie McDermott has done a terrific job telling this story from a players perspective.  We are emboldened by these efforts, and can't wait to tell our story to the world.

Please keep us all in your prayers.
Tim



About

Jaime Moran and Ellen Toy
Kiski Area Volleyball

Jam the Gym is a yearly volleyball match, originally played to raise funds to help in defering the costs of Asst. Coach Jaime Moran's treatment for ALL leukemia.
Jaime passed away in August of 2012.
We miss her fighting spirit and her tremendous grace.
We miss her luminous smile and her beautiful eyes.
We miss her caring heart and her passion for sports.
Jam the Gym will live on to remind us of these things, and to continue to fund the Jaime Moran Scholarship Fund.
Stay tuned here for the latest updates on our event.
Jam the Gym 4 promises to be the best one ever!

There's Nothing in the Coaches Manual on this...

About a year ago, a package arrived in the mail for Ellen.  It was a gift from a former player, Jennifer McDowell.  Jenny has made volleyball her life.  After graduating from Plum High School,( and winning the PA state championship in her senior season) Jenny went on to play all four years at the University of Georgia, then Assistant Coach under her Head Coach at Georgia, Sid Feldman.  She accepted the Head Coaching job at Emory University in Atlanta in 1996.  In 16 seasons she has compiled a record of 512-128!  The gift made Ellen very proud!  It was Jenny's first book, a book of creative and competitive volleyball drills.  It would add more weight to the already bulky book bag Ellen carries to practice everyday.  Her backpack is filled with other drill books and handouts from clinics and camps she has attended.  She has made a habit of keeping as much of this accumulated information as that blue book bag can hold.  It must weigh 35lbs!  Add to that the experience gained by someone who has been coaching high school volleyball for 30 years.  Ellen has come up with a few innovations of her own, notably the "Setter's Box" employed to stop Kristy O'Hara from dropping her hands to her sides before and after setting, and the "Wrist Fusion" taping Jordan King's hands together, preventing her from playing balls with one hand.  Both of these inventions worked!  It would seem, Ellen had all the answers.


With all the combined knowledge contained in this hulking bookbag, and three decades of volleyball coaching, one would think there wasn't any question we couldn't answer.  Yet, with the challenges presented in the last four years, and particularly in the last four months, it seems totally insufficient.
How does a team deal with a coach battling cancer?
How do they respond to BOTH coaches in treatment?
How can you help them with their grief when they lose a coach to cancer?
What do you say when a beautiful young teammate is lost in an accident?
Any single one of these instances would derail any team, but all of them?
There's nothing in the coaches manual to help deal with this...

Every year, and I mean every year, we meet our team in the spring for the start of open gyms.  Open gyms are supposed to be where we can reinforce good skill habits, eliminate bad ones, engage in some gameplay, and learn little things about the team and the kids as individuals.  It is during this time, when we bond with these players.  Coaching this sport, and I'm sure most sports is like adding 30 more kids to your own family.  The kids on our team have rallied through the illnesses of their coaches, and they truly have become extensions of our actual families.  Texts and e-mails updating them on treatments and conditions, the ups and downs of what we had on our plate.  As in actual family members there was total disclosure on what was going on.   That's what made the news of late June so very difficult.  We received word, while at team camp at Pitt, that just a few miles down the road at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, our beautiful beloved young Assistant Coach, Jaime Moran, was losing her almost 12 year battle with leukemia.  Breaking this news to the kids was so terrible, but they had to find out from us.  We had to stay together on this.

Jaime left us on August 6th, 2012.  She fought cancer from the age of 14, and now at 26, her body could no longer take the rigors of aggressive treatment.  We gathered the kids at the high school, we talked, and cried, and prayed.  Jaime will leave and indelible mark on these kids.  Her grace, under the most difficult of situations was unmatched.  She showed them courage.  She showed them faith.  Her lessons on this will be with us forever.

I have never had a death in my life like this.  Understand that I made Jaime a priority in my life. .   Her condition, on any given day, dictated my emotions.  I NEVER prayed as fervently for anything in my entire life.  I gave platelets on at least ten occasions, and it helped that Jaime seemed to do well with my platelets.  I tied Jaime's survival to my own daily life.  There wasn't anytime during my day when I wasn't wondering how she was.  The day I met Jaime for the first time, I knew there was something special about her.  She reeled you in with those pretty eyes, and she won you over with that unbelievable smile.  If that wasn't enough(it was for me!) she was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside.  Jaime was the ONE who I wanted to fight for the most, because I recognized this incredible gift she had, and we needed her HERE.  That's what made her passing most difficult for me.  My faith was severely challenged.

 How could God not see what it is I have?  How could He get this so terribly wrong?  They say that we aren't privy to the plan, but how could this be part of the plan?  It was just unfathomable to me that He ask so much of this particular servant.  I don't think Jaime ever lost faith, but I had.  I talked with so may of my friends about this, consulted my most faith filled friends, and nobody could reach me.  I had no idea, the person who could have helped me the most was near me all along.  Sadly it took losing her to get me back.


Jenna Prusia possessed all of the attributes I have described in Jaime.  Pretty eyes, a winning smile, and personality that matched her outer beauty.  I never knew that while I was hurting so badly over Jaime's death, Jenna prayed for me.  She prayed for all of us, that we might find strength and renewed faith in Jesus.  
That's what makes Jenna's passing so tragic and personal.  I cannot get past the idea that she had to die so young, with so much to give the world.  It hurts so bad to watch her friends and teammates struggle with the emotions of losing someone so special to them.  At the same time, I recognize the lessons in her short life.
I have never seen the kind of INTENSE faith possessed in anyone, let alone a 16 year old.  I believe as the Pastor said, I have never known anyone so assuredly headed to God's right hand.  I also understand that should I be next, can the same thing be said of me?  I've got work to do...

I want to say, to the Prusia's, Jenna's dad Duane and her mom Vicki, her big brother Jared, and her twin sister Ashton, thank you for sharing the journal.  It is an inspiration to me and many others, and has helped us  in dealing with this tragedy.   To her friends and teammates, remind yourselves often of the lessons learned in our shared experiences, and especially in the faith of your dear friend.  She was indeed special!

So where do we go from here, when we can't find the answers we seek in the book bag or coaches manual? 
Maybe we search within ourselves, find a level of faith we didn't know existed.  Maybe we hold close to our friends, talk with them, seek their input.  Maybe we write our own manual or journal as it were, maybe it can someday help others dealing with trouble in their lives.  We have hurdles left to clear, but I assure you, neither Jaime or Jenna would want us to stand around staring at them for too long.  We will clear them together, I have FAITH.

Photo credit to Amy Myers for the incredible picture of Jenna.

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