On July 21 and 22, in Anaheim, California, the Give It Back Foundation,
founded by Courtney Thompson, Tama Miyashiro, and Christa Deitzen will
hold a volleyball camp like no other. Staffed by the U.S. Women’s National
Team, past and present, this camp will benefit the Reins Program, a
therapeutic horse riding program for disabled children and adults. My
foundation, We Serve First, will be sending three athletes and one coach from
Western Pennsylvania to participate in this unique camp. If you know
someone interested in attending, click here. The story of how We Serve First
came to be and my connection to Courtney, Tama, and Christa is one worth
telling, so here goes...
I started to write a blog five years ago as a way to help me cope with what
cancer was doing to my wife, Ellen and my family. Ellen was a successful
volleyball coach here in Western Pennsylvania, so the blog had a decidedly
volleyball flavor. Ellen fought gastric cancer for 6 ½ years until it took her life
on February 22, 2016. That could be the end of the story, but it’s not. My first
blog entry dealt with the people who crossed our paths every day to affect our
journey. This story of We Serve First is thick with intersections and collisions.
Next came a series of tweets directed to high school kids, local media, and
national volleyball icons Alisha Glass, Karch Kiraly, and Destinee Hooker to
raise awareness of and increase participation in an event to raise money for a
variety of cancer charities, Jam the Gym. This single collision with Alisha
Glass resulted in a sign of things to come. Her connection led to Ellen
becoming cyber coach two days later during the finals of the World Grand
Prix, tweeting out coaching tips to USA Volleyball fans viewing the match. If
that would have been the end of our connection to the players on our National
Team, it would have been enough, but this story is just getting started.
We obviously were big volleyball fans, but also a little ignorant about the pro
game and how these athletes prepared for their careers after college. It
seemed natural, then, to take the next step to find out more about these
athletes. Following the twitter accounts of Rachael Adams and
Gina Urango (“Athletes Abroad” account) connected me to Max Holt, and
“Jamming in Five Questions” was born. The blog featured the stories of
volleyball players, including their likes and dislikes, their thoughts on how the
game should be played, and anything they wanted to share about their lives.
These new connections with the world’s best volleyball players in concert with
Ellen’s unyielding cancer led us to boldly fly to Los Angeles to watch the
National Team play three matches against Brazil in the summer of 2014. Ellen
was able to meet Alisha, Cassidy Lichtman, and Christa Harmotto
(now Deitzen), all part of that magical cyber coaching Sunday.
Not long after that trip, Ellen relapsed and had to undergo more treatment.
She maintained the contacts she made with these incredible athletes and
watched them prepare for the Olympics. Their support and connection was a
very special memory for her. As her condition worsened and her treatments
started to take a toll, her doctors decided to give her a break and hold
treatments for a couple of weeks. When she was well enough, we made an
impromptu decision to drive overnight to Omaha, Nebraska to watch the
Americans win the Grand Prix finals. The team was warm and
welcoming. They picked up our tickets, had us visit during serve and pass,
and took time to chat with us. For Ellen, it was a bittersweet peak to her
lifelong love of volleyball and the people in it.
Soon after the trip, Ellen went on a trial medication in an effort to try and stop
her cancer’s advance. It was then that we decided it was time to think about
her legacy. Spurred by the words on a T-shirt for the last Jam the Gym
event, the name of the new foundation would be We Serve First. Ellen’s
catchphrase “Flip the Coin, Choose to Serve” was added and the idea took
flight. We would help kids who loved volleyball but couldn’t afford camps,
clinics, and clubs. We would help to create their collisions.
To start things going, we paid out of pocket to send one camper to Give It
Back’s first camp in Kent, Washington, home of our new friend, Courtney
Thompson. Give it Back was the brainchild of Courtney, Christa, Tama, and
was supported by the very core of the National Team. The camp raised
money that first year for the Children’s Therapy Center. Give it Back would
utilize the National Team to offer a unique camp and at the same time, raise
funds and awareness for worthy charities. Of course, this cause was a natural
fit with We Serve First.
Social media had helped Jam the Gym, and now would help to launch We
Serve First. A GoFundMe account was opened, Ellen’s courageous story was
told, and donations flowed. We sponsored three athletes from Pittsburgh that
club season. The local volleyball community responded, and even more
donations resulted from these efforts.
Unfortunately, a short time later, Ellen’s doctor discovered that her cancer had
metastasized in her hips and lungs and she would no longer qualify for the
clinical trial we hoped would save her. It was time to make a difficult
choice. She could return to the painful course of chemotherapy to buy her a
few months at best, or choose hospice care and live comfortably for whatever
time she had left. She chose hospice, and didn’t suffer for very long. She died
just ten days after that appointment. Ellen was surrounded by her family, and
comforted by a birthday video sent from her friends from around the world, the
women of the United States National Team. It was one of her very last
memories.
The days following Ellen’s death were a blur, and I feel lucky to have had the
support from our loving families, the community in the Kiski Valley, and the
larger volleyball community from all over the world. It’s incredible to me that
we were able to use our story to spread good works and love.
The story did not end there. At Ellen’s memorial service, one of the players
who we sponsored for club volleyball, Clairissa Hankinson, delivered the news
that she had received an offer to continue her volleyball career at Eastern
Kentucky! We Serve First, by sending her to club volleyball, had enabled her
to be seen by college coaches and had changed her life path. Despite my
grief, I was elated. Donations again poured in, as word of Clair’s stunning
news was spread. Since then, We Serve First has sponsored 12 more Club
seasons, sending over 20 other kids to camps and clinics around Western
Pennsylvania and to other parts of the country.
My ongoing connection with members of the National Team was made deeper
by being invited and visiting Southern California to watch some tune up
matches with the families prior to the Olympics. Watching these matches
made it apparent that paring down the roster for the Rio Olympics was going
to be a daunting task. At some point I stated that if Courtney made the team, I
would go to Rio with the team. Court was far from a shoe in, but she trained
her ass off for this moment. Not long before the games, Karch announced his
team, and Courtney was on it! I was going to Rio!
I was able to live out my dreams in Rio, as Volleyball Magazine tapped me for
my perspective while I was there. I was able to write about my experiences
while I watched the best volleyball on the planet. For a volleynerd it doesn’t
get much better. I have learned so much about life watching the sport and the
way these athletes go about their business. Yes, my involvement came with a
great deal of pain, grief, and sadness, but I found and still find a way to
choose living joyously. As in the game itself, a point, won or lost, is gone.
Nothing good comes from ruminating. Learn the lesson and prepare for
another one.
What’s next? Two weeks ago, Give it Back announced it would use the
American Sports Center in Anaheim as its next camp location. Hosted by LA
native Carli Lloyd, and staffed by an incredible list of volleyball clinicians, this
announcement had me thinking… What if I sent an athlete from Western
Pennsylvania to participate in this camp? A text to Court, and a few days later
it was three players and one coach on their way!
So, on July 21-22, one player from each of the stops on Ellen’s Coaching
journey will walk through the doors to the American Sports Center. They are,
from Plum H.S. Makayla Jackson, from Leechburg H.S. McKenna Pierce, and
from Kiski Area H.S. Cassie Shoupe. Joining them will be Plum Coach (and
former player of Ellen’s with Westmoreland Elite Club Volleyball), Kelsey
Bonk. We Serve First has flights, accommodations, rental car, and camp fee
covered for these three players and Coach Bonk. I believe strongly that the
culture in the gym will come back with these four individuals, and they will in
turn spread it to their teammates here. Like ripples on the pond...
As for me, I have come to believe that our memories likely don’t last much
beyond a few generations, but our actions can go on much longer. It is my
hope that the players assisted by We Serve First will pay it forward, and in this
way, the kindness and love will continue.
What can you do? Visit our GoFundMe page. Check out the Give it Back
Foundation’s webpage. If you have kids in the Los Angeles/Anaheim area, get
them to this one of a kind camp! Athletics and collisions with the right people
can change lives for the better. “Flip the Coin, Choose to Serve!”